Trump’s Latest Beefs: Chrissy Teigen and the Taliban | The Daily Show

Trump’s Latest Beefs: Chrissy Teigen and the Taliban | The Daily Show


Yes, it turns out President
Trump is so embarrassed
by his hurricane blunder that
his administration threatened
to fire any weather officials
who wouldn’t back up
his alternative facts.
And, guys,
the NOAA
doesn’t have time for this.
-Their job is to monitor
hurricanes. -MAN: Yeah!
If they’re distracted
by Trump’s beefs,
you realize what could happen.
We could have
a giant backlog of hurricanes.
They can’t come in. Yeah.
Because,
without their hurricane permits,
they’re not allowed
to come into the country.
It’s a whole process.
You have to get your name,
your category.
It’s just like they’re waiting
in line, like,
“Hey, what’s goin’ on?
We’re trying to get in!”
(laughter, clapping)
It’s just, like, a whole–
a whole thing.
And while the Weather Service
is trying to deal
with Trump’s hurricane beef,
he’s already started
another one.
The president also sparked
a beef with John Legend
and his wife, Chrissy Teigen,
last night.
Uh, it apparently happened
after he watched
an MSNBC special
with Lester Holt and John Legend
on efforts to fix the broken
criminal justice system.
He tweeted, in part…
(reading):
John Legend responded,
tweeting this…
(reading):
Chrissy Teigen also responded.
Her tweet, uh,
we cannot put on-air
due to its vulgarity.
(laughter)
That’s right. Donald Trump
lashed out at John Legend
and Chrissy Teigen
because he feels like
they’re taking credit
for achieving
criminal justice reform instead
of giving him the praise.
Now, John Legend
and Chrissy Teigen both hit back
at the commander in tweet.
You saw John’s reply.
But Chrissy Teigen’s response
was too vulgar
for the news to repeat.
Luckily, we’re not the news.
(cheering and applause)
So…
here it is.
Trump called her “John Legend’s
filthy-mouthed wife.”
But because he didn’t have
the guts to tag her on Twitter,
Chrissy Teigen called him
“a pussy ass bitch.”
(cheering and applause)
And…
and, to be honest,
to be honest,
I don’t know why the news
can’t say that on-air.
It’s a well-known
medical condition
in which a bitch’s ass
is replaced by a pussy.
And I think the more we talk
about it in society,
the more we can destigmatize
this serious disease.
So, Trump’s beefing
with the weather
and he’s beefing
with celebrities.
But there’s one Trump beef
that might actually have
major real-world consequences.
REPORTER: A developing story out
of Washington this morning.
President Trump revealing
in a tweet
that he had been planning
a secret meeting
-with the Taliban. -REPORTER 2:
Tonight, the White House
had hoped to surprise the world
with the Taliban at Camp David
signing a peace deal,
as President Trump tweeted
Saturday night…
(reading):
-(siren wailing)
-But the president canceled
the secret summit after
Thursday’s suicide bombing
at a Kabul checkpoint.
Trump said in his tweet
that he immediately canceled
the peace talks, asking,
“How many more decades
are they willing to fight?”
Okay, this story’s wild.
Over the weekend,
Trump tweeted out
that he was canceling
a secret meeting
he had planned with the Taliban
because they had launched
an attack in Afghanistan.
And this came out of the blue,
because no one knew
Trump had scheduled peace talks
with the Taliban.
Like, what Trump did here
is like your best friend
telling you that he’s getting
a divorce and you’re like,
“I didn’t even know
you were married.”
And he’s like, “Yeah, dude.
It just wasn’t gonna work out.
She killed 11 people
in Afghanistan. It was crazy.”
This whole thing was wild.
Did you hear what they said?
They were like– they wanted
to surprise the nation.
Yeah, everyone would’ve been
surprised if they were like,
“The Taliban’s at Camp David.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Surprise!” It’s
the worst surprise in the world.
And, now, if you’re
still confused by the story,
you’re not the only one.
But as far as we can understand
from what’s being reported,
here’s what they say
really happened.
Over the past nine years,
the U.S. government
has been trying to get
a peace deal with the Taliban
to end the war in Afghanistan.
Right?
In the past few weeks,
it looked like that deal
was close to happening.
But when Trump heard
about this deal,
he demanded that the Taliban
come to Camp David in America
to sign the deal
with him on camera
so that he would get the praise.
But the Taliban didn’t want
to come to America,
firstly, because they don’t
trust the United States,
uh, which I understand.
They’re like, uh,
“We’re not coming there.”
And, secondly,
because they probably don’t want
to deal with the TSA.
(laughter)
Can you imagine how stressful
that shit’s gonna be for them?
(applause)
Just gonna come in…
(applause and cheering)
…as the Taliban?
You have to fill out
the little forms.
The guy at the TSA’s
gonna be like,
“So, uh, what do you do
for a living?”
Be like, “I’m the leader
of the Taliban.”
“So you’re a terrorist?”
“Yes, but not for this trip,
okay? Not for this trip.
This time, I’m off the clock.”
So the Taliban refused
to come to America,
and Trump tweeted out, “No,
I’m breaking up with you guys.”
And, so, there is a possibility
that the war in Afghanistan
will continue now
because Trump has put
a photo opportunity above peace.
-(audience groaning)
-Yeah.
Which, according to WebMD,
is a classic symptom
of a pussy ass bitch.

100 thoughts to “Trump’s Latest Beefs: Chrissy Teigen and the Taliban | The Daily Show”

  1. I implore anyone who really believes this crap to watch the Comedy Centeral roast of Donald Trump. It's fantastic.
    The biggest point to be made is how many Hollywood "haters" were giving him standing ovations…. Chrissy Tegan actually being one of the first to stand up.
    Don't buy this B.S without doing some research first.

  2. Now that's what's great about America! Calling the president a "pussyassbitch" and not worrying about any ramifications….its also what is bad about it too.

  3. How could you not love this guy?!!!
    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  4. Kanye West & President Trump are the only people who gave a dam about uplifting , empowering & making black America great again and now that a lot of the necessary work has been done ( Justice reform, Urban renewal , welfare to work marriage & self determination ) these boule sellouts like John legend, Jay Z &  Steve Harvey want to swoop in & take the Credit. All they really care about is money & fame.
    https://youtu.be/4t34v8ghrxI

    http://www.fox32chicago.com/news/national/trump-administration-plans-tougher-rules-for-able-bodied-welfare-recipients

    https://youtu.be/XoTZZDqvGS4

    https://youtu.be/mLjxbGlyuYA

  5. If anything Trump has ever done rightly so was to cancel the peace deal. It was a total disgrace for Trump to succumb to a terrorist group's wild goose chase demands.

  6. The man who made it "okay" for perverts, Jackasses, and attention seekers to say the P-word in public is saying someone else has a filthy mouth. Good job USA.

  7. pussy ass bitch is gonna be the only insult I will ever be using from now on. Motherfucker? whats that? ure a pussy ass bitch, yea, thats more like it

  8. Talk is cheap. Trump makes things happen. He doesn't wait for others to do the work and then try to take the credit. Kanye put his neck on the line railing against the prison industry & Trump put his neck on the line lifting black people out of prison & poverty. The Bush's , The Clinton's & most of the illuminati hate black people. They want us in chains or in the grave.
    https://youtu.be/4t34v8ghrxI

    http://www.fox32chicago.com/news/national/trump-administration-plans-tougher-rules-for-able-bodied-welfare-recipients

    https://youtu.be/XoTZZDqvGS4

    https://youtu.be/mLjxbGlyuYA

  9. Trumps not perfect but he's fiercely loyal to his friends and that includes his black friends.
    https://search.aol.com/aol/image;_ylt=A2KLfSb_g3pdT_kA4SNpCWVH;_ylu=X3oDMTByMDgyYjJiBGNvbG8DYmYxBHBvcwMyBHZ0aWQDBHNlYwNzYw–?q=trump%27s+black+friends&v_t=loki-tb-sb

  10. Amercian hurricaines are so cool.. they only blow in the direction of wooden houses and trailer parks and avoid brick built houses…. # brick lives matter . Ps. Peace talks are so bad.. lets stay at war forever

  11. what is your job ?
    I'm the leader of F TALIBAN
    SO you are a terrorist?
    yes but in this trip 🤣🤣
    .
    love from Afghanistan Noah 💝

  12. Trying HARD to get that Nobel Prize..Even if that means bringing the Taliban to the United States during the 9/11 Celebrations !!!

  13. Donald Trump & Kanye West 2020. They actually get things done. To hell with these big mouth, sellout boule bastards who want to take credit after the work is done. Justice Reform, Urban Renewal, Welfare to work, marriage and self determination. Trump is liberating black folk just like he liberated A$AP Rocky. Biden wants the backwards fools in chains ( dude crafted the Clinton crime bill ).

  14. YES!!! CHRISSY always comes through with the savagery. How do I sign up for that class where she can teach me how to say bitches like this. How are you gonna ban and alienate other Muslims but invite the Taliban…..to a secret meeting, pussy ass bitch

  15. All I can say is that… would have been worse if Hillary was president??? Just wondering… but everyone was scared of a woman president tho.Wow, America is so progressive.

  16. It's kinda funny how Trump exhibits habits of a dictator but fails completely because he's such an idiot like this is some goddamn Saturday morning cartoon

  17. Samantha Turner – The reason that the black community's so backwards is because women weild so much influence & control. Women were not designed to lead , infact the bible says "I suffer not a woman to be in authority over a man nor to teach a man because ( to paraphrase ) it was Eve who was duped and manipulated by satan not Adam.

  18. Women didn't have the strength of mind, body & spirit to win this countries freedom but they are just weak enough to cause us all to loose our power & freedom. They will turn us into chattel like the citizens of Hong Kong.

  19. The Framers fought, established this nation & guaranteed us the means to control our own destiny in the 2nd amendment. Women are not naturally the defender's & protectors so they have no use for guns and only critical thinking women ( most are driven by blind emotion ) understand the need for honorable, brave & strong men to possess them. Modern women are more into emasculating good men as apposed to empowering them. They tend to empower evil men & government instead.

  20. President Trump has done much more for the black community than these sellout boule fools ever will. And he was a billionaire. He didn't have to come to Washington DC to do anything but he made the sacrifice & he placed himself in harms way to save innocent babies ( abortion ) ,ungrateful black folk & this country ( making America great again ).
    https://youtu.be/4t34v8ghrxI
    http://www.fox32chicago.com/news/national/trump-administration-plans-tougher-rules-for-able-bodied-welfare-recipients
    https://youtu.be/XoTZZDqvGS4
    https://youtu.be/mLjxbGlyuYA

  21. I am surprised that 45 hasn't tried (illegally) to have Mr. Noah deported back to his country… I mean he doesn't kiss 45's backside, which makes him a traitor.

  22. Raven – He's a boule slave to the racist Illuminati. That's what makes him a traitor. Sold his soul. President Trump's more loyal to black people. Much more loyal.

  23. Who can forget that Disgusting Evangelicals Proudly Elected and Keep supporting Sex Predato Racist Trump.
    If you an Evangelical is because you are racist!

  24. Yes, bringing Taliban to Camp David is the exact disgraceful and moronic plan that Donald Trump, the Disgraceful Moron™ would want to do.

    Edit: There is no curing the pussy ass bitch that Donald Trump has nurtured within himself; they have become one and the same.

  25. President Trump's the best President this country's ever had and only small minded, brainwashed puppets would say different.
    https://www.whitehouse.gov/issues/economy-jobs/

  26. John Legend , Trevor Noah, Steve Harvey ect have sold out. They are black boule puppets controlled by the racist, evil illuminate
    https://youtu.be/KFefQ2weZbM

  27. Chrissy is filthy mouthed and John is dumbing down to her level. John no longer has a career in music he;s a reality show person now because he married dumb.. AT this point these two are disrespecting democracy. How does Trump or his policies impact them? Im in Africa and we have to trade in the dollar, we have to pay your govt for loans taken by colonialists to repress our forefather and till today
    we see our resources being exploited by the likes of America and Europe. WHY DO THESE TWO JOHN AND CHRISSY FEEL THE NEED TO TALK ABOUT TRUMP SO MUCH. MAYBE HE TURNS JOHN ON OR SOMETHING…

  28. This is a nation filled with brainwashed puppets. The Bush's Orchestrated the 9/11 attacks and everyone in Washington DC knows it. The racist bastards even ordered boule puppet Michael Jackson to be in one of the Twin towers when it came down but I guess he decided that "THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT US" so he reneged on his blood oath agreement. They eventually killed him anyway.

  29. https://youtu.be/8DtEcZ3cfg4
    This is why the Twin Towers came down ( 9/11 attack ). The evil, racist Illuminati & their New World Order. And they wanted the worlds biggest Superstar, who just happened to be black ( Michael Jackson ) to appear to have been a victim of the attack.
    David Rockefeller Quote
    “This present window of opportunity, during which a truly peaceful and interdependent world order might be built, will not be open for too long – We are on the verge of a global transformation. All we need is the right major crisis and the nations will accept the New World Order.”
    https://youtu.be/rFEgEwrkutQ

  30. America's 2nd Amendment is the last obstical to the establishment of their new world order. They must make obedient slaves of the worlds citizens in order to shape the world into what they want it to be.
    https://youtu.be/8DtEcZ3cfg4
    https://youtu.be/6D_OuKYQe6o

  31. I absolutely loved your comments and loved Chrissy Teigen giving us a new and most appropriate name for the "pussy ass bitch" in charge of destroying our country. AND Trump stating she has a filthy mouth, when on PRIME TIME TELLY, HE REPEATEDLY USED THE "F" WORD, so turn him around and spank this pussy ass bitches fat ass!!

  32. I mean yes jl is a pretty boring guy, I I don't know where his wife came from & she does about me almost whenever I see her, which is not much, but it'd be blimmin hard to find many nicer/kinder people than him around

  33. Joe – You're an idiot. A brainwashed idiot. Trumps doing unprecedentedly well. The economy, Job creation, the markets, interest rates. You're simply regurgitating what these media puppets tell you. You're a brainless zombie. The trade war with China will pay off huge in the end. As far as health insurance ; grown people are supposed to handle their business not the government. When government controls even your health insurance you belong to them instead of the other way around.

  34. https://youtu.be/E36PiDzA4s8
    The dumbocrats are still launching investigation's on President Trump ; the sick bastards are taking their marching orders from a murderer , killary Clinton ( the evil witch paid for the dossier ). This nation is Babylon. She may be above mans law but Divine Justice will be served.
    https://youtu.be/E36PiDzA4s8

  35. I can't stand Trump but I will say. One fuck him for inviting them to camp David, but two yeah if you are negotiating peace and during the talks they launch more rockets no deal. I want to just reject anything he does but honsetly I don't think he is wrong on this, if you can't keep your bombs in your pants for a few days WTF.

  36. https://youtu.be/E36PiDzA4s8
    The dumbocrats are still launching investigation's on President Trump ; the sick bastards are taking their marching orders from a murderer , killary Clinton ( the evil witch paid for the dossier ). This nation is Babylon. She may be above mans law but Divine Justice will be served.
    https://youtu.be/E36PiDzA4s8

  37. Dimitri – Why not ? It was the Bush's who orchestrated 9/11. And blessed be the peace makers for they shall be called the children of GOD.

  38. https://youtu.be/8DtEcZ3cfg4
    This is why the Twin Towers came down ( 9/11 attack ). The evil, racist Illuminati & their New World Order. And they wanted the worlds biggest Superstar, who just happened to be black ( Michael Jackson ) to appear to have been a victim of the attack.
    David Rockefeller Quote
    “This present window of opportunity, during which a truly peaceful and interdependent world order might be built, will not be open for too long – We are on the verge of a global transformation. All we need is the right major crisis and the nations will accept the New World Order.”
    https://youtu.be/rFEgEwrkutQ

  39. OMG! Chrissy! Can't decide on a nickname: Talentless Cunt or Chickenhead Cluck? And John's a pantywaist faggot. Just like Trevor. Trump's gonna humiliate you all again.😄

  40. He was just having a "crayola" moment, in history! Where are the white coats when we need them most. I am starting to believe that Bat catcher may have been a great idea way way way back in the decades, Trevor.

  41. My 12 Year Old Wants to be a Great President, just like Trump: So what's the big deal when he called a classmate; fat, ugly & a disgusting horseface. He also grabbed another girl by the p*$$y and mocked her handicapped sister. Some silly "snowflakes" got upset for no reason. He is such a special child that I only feed him his favorite foods; KFC and McDonald's. He is not a spoiled ill mannered child. He is just "telling it like it is", Just like our Great President.

  42. The entire video about John Legend and Chris Teigen (why the fuck do celebrities always have different last names…because they’re prepared for divorce) to the analogy of your friend divorcing when you didn’t know he was married… was all terribly unfunny. I was about to give up on this video until he mentioned the concept of Taliban going through TSA even though that would never happen…they’d have their own personal screening. The pussyass bitch part was definitely not funny..a bitch’s ass replaced by pussy? Ehh what are we in grade school.

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