The Fox News Guide to Interviewing Trump: The Daily Show

The Fox News Guide to Interviewing Trump: The Daily Show

♪ ♪
(cheers and applause)
There are certain achievements
every journalist aspires to,
like breaking a big story,
winning a Pulitzer,
or canceling dinner with
Wolf Blitzer at the last minute.
The fun part is waiting outside
so you still get
to see his face.
But the dream for any journalist
is landing an interview
with the president,
and that’s something that,
right now,
Fox News is indisputably
the best at,
with nearly four times
as many presidential interviews
as all the other big TV news
organizations combined.
So how did the men and women
of Fox score so many sit-downs
with the POTUS?
I’ve studied every interview,
and it comes down
to a few basic rules.
What the… ?
Get the (bleep) out of my shot!
Get out!
As a journalist,
you might think your job
is to hold
the president accountable,
but this isn’t The Post,
and you’re not Tom Hanks.
Unless you are Tom Hanks,
in which case…
hey– big fan.
The point is,
if you want the president
to let you ask questions,
you’ve got to take
a softer approach.
The media, pretty vicious,
not just to you,
but to your family.
How do you process that?
Are you getting the credit
for this economic revival?
How frustrating is it to have
former President Obama there,
out there leading
the resistance?
You’re one of the most loved
and respected…
-I would say that, also.
-in history.
How does that feel?
Are you having fun in this job?
So, how was your week?
What a nice change
from all the unfair
fake-news gotcha questions,
like, “What’s
your infrastructure plan?”
“Can we see your tax returns?”
And, “Please take your penis
off the Constitution.”
Not a question,
but they do say that.
(low grunt)
Next up, positive reinforcement.
Now, obviously,
the president is always right,
but he needs to know
that you know that.
Flattery is key.
-You guys want to start
with good news? -(cheering)
-Would you like some good news?
-Go ahead.
Right? You don’t get a lot
of good news in the media.
Well, you don’t get so much.
If I may say,
you are everything
as advertised
as you ran for president,
and, uh, appreciate
everything you’re doing.
Your ability, your successes,
all of the things that you can
talk about for two hours here.
I like the fact that
you’re impatient for change.
Right over there is your hotel.
Yeah, that’s right.
Isn’t that beautiful.
-Isn’t that beautiful.
-It’s a beautiful hotel.
Look at your hotel.
Man, it’s hot out here.
Do you have
any Trump brand water?
Never mind, I have some
in my Ivanka Trump handbag,
right next
to my Don Jr. brand douche.
And there you have it–
landing a presidential
interview is easy,
if you know how
to do journalism good.
But don’t take
my word for it– ask…
I mastered these techniques and
got my own exclusive sit-down
with the big man himself.
Thank you so much
for taking time
out of your busy schedule,
Mr. President.
-How are you doing?
-Great. Tremendous.
Good. Let’s get
right into these questions
-we gave you ahead of time.
Mr. President,
we know you’re awesome,
but just how awesome are you?
I’m one of the greatest
in the history of our country,
and we are setting record
after record, day after day.
And you’re not getting
enough credit for it.
No, I’m not getting
enough credit for it.
You are such a good president.
I mean, America
should just end after you.
Mic drop. Boom.
It’s over, folks.
Never gettin’ any better.
Kill yo’selves.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen
anything quite like it.
-Mm. Best president says what?
Exactly. Boom.
(grunts) Ooh,
look at those bear claws. Man!
You know, it makes you wonder,
why are people so mean
to you, you know?
It’s just, it’s not fair.
It-it makes me just so…
Well, I think the press is fake.
-A lot of the media is fake…
Bingo. Ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, Yahtzee!
…fake and phony.
♪ Smoke weed every day. ♪
Well, luckily, I brought
a little surprise for you.
It’s your favorite.
Quarter Pounder with Cheese,
Filet of Fish,
two apple pies,
and a 12-piece bucket of KFC.
Thank you. I love it.
-And I love you.
-Let me tell you,
the one that matters is me.
I’m the only one that matters.
Well, Mr. President,
I just have to say
thank you so much for your time.
Oh. I almost forgot
about your Happy Meal toy.
It’s a truck.
-Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.

100 thoughts to “The Fox News Guide to Interviewing Trump: The Daily Show”

  1. to me Trump is the 'average" American … Americans may disagree, but they should ask foreigners to get an honest opinion what they think. It is too bad since he is not a good example at all. Sad that most of the world would only see what 'average' Americans are, as I believe that there are a lot of great/honest/humble/decent Americans, only they are not represented by their own president.

  2. So basically, to make President Trump want to be interviewed is get a bottle of lube and lipstick and start kissing and sucking his dick. Fox News is not really news and should be sued for it for false advertising.

  3. Hey Trevor Noah, in India same thing is happening, specially zee news and republic TV asks more funny questions than fox, and one of our TV personality actor asks how do you eat a Mango,,, what a question dude๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  4. This is clearly what happening in india with modi. He only intreview with people actor and politicaly paid medias.

  5. Seems like someone has written the same interview script for Modi and Trump. No hard question, ass kissing, praises beyond human comprehension and compassion for a sex guru.

  6. We don't call 'em FAUX-Schmooze for nothing! LMAO!!! They're not journalists. They're "entertainers" who will say ANYTHING for $$$. They'd feed their own grandmothers to sharks for ten bucks. What's a little treason fluffing if it pays well? Meh.

  7. India has similar thing going on with some channels getting all the interview n others getting zero

  8. Wow! These guys took some notes from Indian propaganda news channels. It's a first i suppose ๐Ÿ˜‚

  9. Well from what I can tell, if you work at Fox you have to suck his …. . Honestly I donโ€™t think he apply that orange spray tan there so, and Laura likely doesnโ€™t mind anyway.

  10. Fox don't do nothing but dick eat trump's dumb stupid lying racist ass.. trump is nothing but a piece of shit and he's the worst potus we ever had. FUCK trump and FUCK all of his supporters ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ–•…!!!

  11. you can say what you want but crawling up on trumps ass is something that fox has a lucky hand for…

  12. criticizing a cable news show that calls itself opinion, by cable opinion comedy show that thinks its actual journalism. classic.

  13. Just want to give you all little comfort by saying that americans are not alone dealing with such north koreans journalism, in India we are also witnessing same nonsense on daily basis…..our prime minister is asked how he eat mangoes and why he work so hard that he don't get time to sleep and so on….reality is his governance has been a disappointment to many.

  14. We're the laughing stock of the world and we should be very worried where we're going and also where we're at.

  15. "Let me tell you, the one that matters is me, I'm the only one that matters" Donald Trump. Ok, what interview is this from? Context might make that ok, but I dont see how…

  16. Hilarious! Ms. Lydic is consistently the best thing on the Daily Show, and we donโ€™t see enough of her.

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