News Smash: Super Bowl LIV, Iowa Caucuses, Trump’s State of the Union, Wine ATM

News Smash: Super Bowl LIV, Iowa Caucuses, Trump’s State of the Union, Wine ATM


-It seems like there’s so much
going on right now. Last night, the Kansas City
Chiefs won Super Bowl LIV. [ Cheers and applause ] The 2020 election
officially started tonight with the Iowa caucuses. Tomorrow night is
the State of the Union. And a bar in the U.K. just unveiled an ATM
that dispenses wine. [ Cheers and applause ] There’s a lot to go over. Let’s just jump in
and cover it all at once. It’s time for a “News Smash.” [ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪ [ Ding ] -First up, Kansas City
won the Super Bowl after coming back to
beat the 49ers. Both teams had great seasons,
but in the end, there can only be one winner,
just like in the Iowa caucuses. After months
of campaigning, the Democrats finally faced off to see
who would win the state and
get one step closer to delivering next year’s
State of the Union. Tomorrow night,
President Trump will deliver his annual address to Congress, and Nancy Pelosi
will sit behind him, but only after she makes a
withdrawal from the wine ATM. It’s an amazing machine that
dispenses sparkling white wine. If you’re a
Real Housewife visiting, that thing is basically your
Super Bowl. The Chiefs scored 21 points
in the fourth quarter to come from behind and win. Wow. Their coach must have given
one heck of a halftime speech. Trump will be reading
from a teleprompter, but knowing him,
it will sound like he just hit up the — wine ATM. It’s really popular right now. There’s so many
white people lined up, it looks like the Iowa caucuses. The winner will gain momentum, while the losers
slide down the polls. You know who else
slid down a pole? J.Lo in the Super Bowl
halftime show. [ Cheers and applause ] So, in conclusion,
congratulations. You’re going to New Hampshire. Congratulations.
You’re going to Disney World. Congratulations.
You’re going to get wasted. Congratulations.
You’re sound to get wasted. -Decided to shield and shelter
criminical– Look, look. -There you go.
[ Cheers and applause ] That’s right, you guys. I want to say congrats to
the Kansas City Chiefs on winning Super Bowl LIV. And an and even bigger congrats
to everybody in Kansas City who showed up to work today. You’re the real MVPs. It was an exciting game,
but check out what one guy in the crowd
was spotted doing in the first quarter. -Wow. I hope that was a good
nap, because it cost him $6,000. That was also the 49ers’ defense
in the fourth quarter. -Ooh! -Hey, you’re the one
who said it. Well, after the game, Chiefs quarterback
Patrick Mahomes was named Super Bowl MVP. And this is cool.
[ Cheers and applause ] Yeah, he deserved it.
But this is really cool. Back in 2013, when he was just
17 years old, Mahomes actually tweeted,
“I bet it’s feels amazing to be the quarterback who says,
‘I’m going to Disney World,’ after winning the Super Bowl.” Yeah, and it came true,
which is why, today, Mahomes tweeted, “I bet it feels
amazing to be named ‘People’ magazine’s
Sexiest Man Alive.” -Wow.
-He’s a good-looking dude. -Yeah. -And it was a big night
for Chiefs head coach Andy Reid, who won his first Super Bowl. Here he is at the end of the
game there celebrating, yeah. This is fun. Reid actually celebrated by
eating Baby Nut. -Oh. -Yep, one of the big commercials
last night was for Planters, where they brought back
Mr. Peanut as a baby and called him Baby Nut. Take a look at this. Most people said “cute,” while
one guy was like, “Hey, that’s my Secret Service
code name.” “I have eyes on Baby Nut. Baby Nut Job
coming down the hall.” Of course, there were lots of
celebrities at the game, and last night, Amazon
C.E.O. Jeff Bezos tweeted out a photo of him
and Lizzo, writing, “I just took a DNA test. Turns out I’m 100% Lizzo’s
biggest fan.” After he posted that,
all four of his kids just slowly walked into
the ocean. Oh, and this went viral. After the game, President Trump
tried to get in on the celebration, but he ended
up making a mistake. Trump sent
a tweet congratulating the Kansas City Chiefs and then
the “great state of Kansas.” Of course,
there’s only one problem — the Chiefs play in
Kansas City, Missouri. Trump knew that. He just didn’t want to try
and spell Missouri. He was like, “M-I-Z-Z–
I’ll just put Kansas.” Let’s get to some
political news. The Iowa caucuses were today. The president was like, “Oh,
yes, Iowa, home of the 49ers.” I saw that Bernie Sanders
actually hosted a Super Bowl party
in Iowa yesterday. He even made his special
three-layer dip — Robitussin, Metamucil,
and Werther’s Originals. [ As Sanders ]
No double-dipping. Oh, and Pete Buttigieg
went to an Iowa voter’s Super Bowl party. Yeah, and this was nice. At halftime, the voter
and his son took Pete outside and tossed him
around front yard. -Hey! Oh! Hey!
[ Laughing ] Oh! [ Laughs ]
Vote for me. -Okay. And this weekend,
Trump was asked about all the Democratic candidates,
including Mike Bloomberg. Check out what he had to say
about Mike Bloomberg. -Uh…very little.
I just think of little. You know, now he wants a box for
the debates to stand on. Okay. It’s okay.
There’s nothing wrong. You can be short. Why should he get a box
to stand on, okay? He wants a box for the debates. Why should he be
entitled to that? Really. Does that mean that
everyone else gets a box? -What?! -Trump’s obsessed with boxes,
walls, and toilets. Forget being the president.
He should work at Home Depot. -Yeah. -Yesterday was Groundhog Day, and I saw that Punxsutawney Phil
predicted an early spring. [ Cheers and applause ] So if you’re keeping track,
we don’t listen to scientists about the climate,
but we do listen to a rodent that lives in a hole. And listen to this. The other day,
a woman was spotted eating at a TGI Friday’s with a lemur. Check it out. This is real.
Yeah. She was like, “This is actually
one of my better Tinder dates I’ve been on.” The lemur was like,
“Let’s be bad and tell them it’s your
birthday, Cheryl. Free cake.” And, finally, you guys,
the FDA just approved the first drug to treat
peanut allergies in kids. But, unfortunately, there were
some side effects. Check out what happened
to one kid. Yeah. We have a great show.

54 thoughts to “News Smash: Super Bowl LIV, Iowa Caucuses, Trump’s State of the Union, Wine ATM”

  1. I read the title as "Super Smash Bros News" and thought Jimmy was finally opening the show up to inner gaming side

  2. They rigged it against Bernie, they doing everything they can to stop him. Im voting for Bernie Sanders 2020🔥 Feel the Bern !!! Trump 🆚 Sanders 2020

  3. Anyone see when the DNC bungled some shit they had 4 years to prepare for?? Then that kid from the wine caves said he won? Anyone else catch that?? 🙄

  4. I love when these nobody's talk down on other folks! It usually means their trying to make you look somewhere else so you want find the skeletons in their closet. The democratic party and followers are really good at that.

  5. Do You want a Taste of the Democrat Socialists Running the USA, Just Observe How their most Important first Iowa Caucus Went with only 242,000 Voters? Right? They can not even Manage 242,000 Votes? This is the Most Ridiculous Socialist Takeover Ever in History… They have made so many mistakes over the Last 4 Years that it is Hilarious. Another example is Search this… 5nUZekJ3pfM See how Democrat Socialism can be used to make Billions of Your Tax Payer Dollars Just Disappear, and how Democrats do not even care in the least, about it disappearing… Just one Documented Example of Many. Socialism Creates Depressions. Remember in November 2020. Vote While You Can. Search this Explosive Banned Video by Main Stream Media gnC_pipIjxM Showing Pam Bondi's Perfectly Making You Feel the Reality.

  6. YANG Is Sweeping The World Stage With #HUMANITYFIRST #MATH
    #FREEDOMDIVIDEND #ENDORSEANDREWYANG Please Send the following: Please Endorse Andrew Yang as
    the Democratic Nominee https://democrats.org/contact-us/

  7. Can anyone answer me? – why does NBC not allow ALL bits and shows from 2009 to present? Any other YouTube channel, that's not network, has all videos available. I have gone down a serious Jimmy Fallon rabbit hole and want to see early shows but can only find weirdos posting them holding a shaky camera phone at their tv! Are they forcing us to watch new shows only? Why?

  8. I,m taller than Don J,so by his reasoning I'm smarter than him.
    But even if I were half his size I would smarter, because he is a uniquely stupid imbecilic specimen.

  9. at 5:22 it's so funny now to see the big piss-colored snowflake clown complain about such petty things. And this is your messiah?one thing is certain: trump WILL be the butt of jokes for the next 100 years. Yep – what a legacy -they wont remember any of the things he tries to takes credit for… but had nothing to do with.

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