To seize this moment, we have to ensure
free and full exchange of information.
That starts with an open internet.
Rap News is back through with fresh Juice to inject
after reporting on wars, sports and militant threats
in distant states, the time has shifted hence
to focus on our own native homeland: The Internet.
Join us as we flip the switch to the highest gear
and set our course towards one area of our hypersphere,
the World-Wide Web. Meet its inventor:
– How are we?
– Couldn’t be better!
– As it should be!
The Web is a Wonderful forum for human interaction, open to all.
Sharing, blogging and vlogging,
lolling and trolling in all forms
open source wikipedias; free media, and of course… porn!
– How does it all work so flawlessly well?
– Ahh… well, gather round boys and girls
and hear the story I tell.
From the days of its hypertext genesis in my NeXT machine
the architecture of the Net as we know it today
was built on a fundamental principle: Net Neutrality!
Which states that all data must be treated equally.
– And that means?
– It means your ISP has to let all content
get through the pipe connections
at identical speed and momentum
whether it’s Ebay or Netflix, your home-made video or PORN,
none can step in, block, filter or slow it down.
– We take this for granted.
– We do, and yet it is what made
the Internet so ‘cool’ and ‘epic’.
– So all voices are treated the same under this system,
whether they’re big business or some random nerd in a bedroom?
– Very good question!
Come with me and let’s meet figures
from both ends of that spectrum
– Terrence Moonseed!
– Robert, I’m honestly I’m in awe of this invention
the advent of the net is one of the most awesome events to
have ever taken place in all of history
and it awoke me to the true conspiracies
that are hidden from us: chemtrails, UFOs and reptilians!
Through YouTube I found gurus, like Bashar, Icke and Jones,
accrued my views of who truly runs
the globe, monarch mind controls
and seen that we are not alone in the universe! And clearly
I’ve served humanity by spamming
the Net with my academic theories
– The fuckin world should thank net neutrality
for giving me the capacity to start
a company and immediately savagely
school, humiliate, clown, beat down
and righteously pwn the biggest players around town.
‘cuz without a doubt without the
clout of this protocol threaded tight
Google couldn’t beat that pile of excrement, Excite;
YouTube couldn’t get ahead of Google Videos;
and I couldn’t create Facebook and
be the billionaire with most Likes.
– …And without Face-spook, I couldn’t
have exposed the all-seeing eye
and spread the truth that his company
is an Illuminazi DARPA controlled spy
I’m working from the inside to crash it down
– And I’m crying all the way to my online bank account.
– Yo people, know what: it might seem like a plot
– but believe it or not,
– even though he’s an evil sucker of Beelzebub’s cock
– and he’s a twat
– On the topic of neutrality being locked
– in this Net that we’ve got
– we both agree that it’s got to be defended at all cost!
– I’m pleasantly shocked!
the internet unites even disparate parties to its cause!
Well, that brings our World Wide Web tour to a close.
Good day to you all, join us again for more episodes.
– Hoooooold up… whoah whoah whoah
wait a minute minute minute, boys and girls
Allow me to introduce myself to the world:
I’m from VeriCast, telcom giant, freshly just merged
here to sell you the new Interwebs to emerge.
– And you are?
– De Berg… William De Berg
business-man, and a business, man; any problem, I fix
I got ninety nine solutions to any given sitch
bitches, my lekker elevator pitch
consists of smacking the fuck out of Jay-Z in a lift.
– Don’t be afraid. I illuminate you real quick
this complex babble of neutrality. I liberate you from this
You chinas like to stream flix, share your pics,
play games, watch lots of clips…
– And porn.
And now, bru, we have a new product to make
our service even more hi-tech.
– You do?
– Ja and it’s fres
The Internet that you’re used to is past tense
I bring you the future: the APARTNET!
– The APARTNET?
– That is correct.
Based on an old South African tactic that was a success
It means a policy of separate Internets:
With a super-fast zef highway that’s strictly for rich
bitch clients who pay extra for it.
And a slow-mo, super-shit narrow
lame lane for… well, everyone else.
check the effects…
– Thiiiis iiiis the Aaaapoooocaaaalyyyypse
– Taaaake myy mooooneeeeey,
juuust maaaaake it stoooop pleeease!
– This breaks the sacred principle of Net Neutrality!!
– You break my balls, and the sacred principle of stacking money.
– Surely this policy will never receive approval from the FCC!
Let us check with its new Chairman and see…
– Howzit, bra, how can I help you?
– Wait… But you are…
– Committed to the Internet, ja!
Sure, I spent the past twenty years lobbying for VeriCast
but I’m pro Net Newtravesty… uh… Neutrality. Cross my heart.
But sadly our hands are tied on this subject.
– Why’s that?
– The Court handed down a judgement.
– Well, then we should speak to the Judges…
– At your service.
– Hang on a bit…
– In the case of VeriCast versus FCC,
on the murder of Net Neutrality,
we find the latter in breach of the free market economy
– Objection! – Overruled! – Order order!
You can’t regulate broadband feeds.
Apartnet is legit. Case closed.
– Uh… what does that even mean?
And who are you, really?
– Ok, honestly:
We’ve been watching you Net users constantly
and noticed that thanks to open Net policies
you’ve raised your net consciousness promptly
But this anomaly has been horribly costly
weakening our monopoly on reality.
So, apologies, but we have to abolish the key quality
which makes the Net so empowering: neutrality.
– You’ll face the wrath of the online community!
– Ha… Let’s meet the average Net user, shall we?
– ‘Save Net Neutrality?’ sounds ghey
LOL hashtag:SWAG. Selfie
– Need I say more… hashtag: apathy.
We close this chapter on a note that’s ominous
But this battle is only just getting started with confidence.
And it involves you and the entire populace.
For like an ecosystem, the Net, affects and connects all of us.
All? Well, not quite: the children of our future time,
and two thirds of us today are still offline.
Can we ensure that the billions yet to connect
will inherit the benefits of a neutral, open Internet?
History will be defined by the fate of the Net.
If you are here today, you can play a role in shaping it.
For a start: head to this part of the web, give this page a click
and tell the FCC that you’re not going to take this shit.
This report was brought to you via the Internet
the most open, free network to appear in history yet.
The price of such liberty, openness and privilege,
dear netizens, is our eternal vigilance.
Captions created by .koolfy